She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
