all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I need water and some morals
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
