Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
