before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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