Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
