This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
