Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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