there's paper in my vomit.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
