was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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