I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Holy shit dude........stairs
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
