escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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