If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
