i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
