goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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