why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
