In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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