So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
