Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
