I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
