Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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