oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
