Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
