I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
