Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So squirting runs in the family.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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