There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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