I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
