I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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