wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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