He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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