I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
