i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
