YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
