So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
