No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
