One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
