I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
