Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
