Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
