His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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