My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sext me about skeletons
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
