remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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