Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
