how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
