i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
