U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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