i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
