normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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