I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let's get the cat blown out
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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