The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
