i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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