Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
