I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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