i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
