Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
