Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
