She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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