You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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