he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
