I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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