I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
