..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize