WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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