I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
