She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
